You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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