nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
