I heard we made out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
wow bdsm is so cute
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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