guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
