you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dick has a subreddit
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
