Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
