Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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