Already got asked if we're dating
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize