she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
