clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
