he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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