yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
