do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
