All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
