I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
