don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize