Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let's paint friendship bongs
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
