nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
wow bdsm is so cute
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
