I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
