I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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