So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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