woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
