i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I wear drunk well.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize