Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
