a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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