I'm so fucking centered right now
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Randomize
