Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
