the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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