I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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