U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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