is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
