He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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