so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
