420 ftw
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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