problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just puked most of my soul out..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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