she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
