It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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