This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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