She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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