also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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