Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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