Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Couch. On fire.
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