The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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