Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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