If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
