I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize