I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
