i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
