Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am one with the molecules
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
