I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
