Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
