I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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