I hate all girls vehemently.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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