Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
