Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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