Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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