yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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