First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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