Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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