Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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