How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
not ubering you a puppy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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