It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
