Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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