mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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