You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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