so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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