he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
