He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When are your genitals available?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I came so hard my ears popped.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
