Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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