it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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