Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I love boston

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's shedding

(1-912): View more from Georgia

I told you penises don't tan

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(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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(407): View more from Florida

I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.

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