yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
