I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
